Tuesday, June 05, 2007

We'll Always Have Paris

Dear Nightly News,

Are we really going to have to endure 23 days of Paris Hilton jail coverage? Let me look into my crystal ball and predict your next few reports:

"Today, June 5th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".

"Today, June 6th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".

"Today, June 7th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".

"Today, June 8th..."



Why are people so fascinated with this girl? Think about it. Yes, she's about as smart as a brick and her day-to-day life appears to be as fulfilling as a bowl full of marshmallows. But other than partying a lot and posing for pictures, has she done anything incredibly newsworthy? Other than her DUI for which she is obediently serving her time for, she's not the slow-motion suicide attempt that Lindsey Lohan is. She isn't the white trash, hair-razing, breakdown diva that Britney Spears is. Despite the fact that she isn't exactly college degree material, people who have met her say she's very friendly and well-mannered. Aren't these social skills you want in a person?

Are we jealous because she has lots of money with none of the responsibilities? Think like the educated person you are. Is that really the life you'd want? Sure, it would be nice to have more than enough money and, at first, having zero responsibilities would be a nice break. Think of it as the ultimate vacation. But haven't you ever gone on a longer-than-normal vacation? Don't you start to go out of your mind wanting to accomplish something??

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