Thursday, June 14, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Paris Is Burning
Did I say "Other than her DUI for which she is obediently serving her time for" in a previous post?
My bad.
Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail
My bad.
Screaming Paris Hilton sent back to jail
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I Have An Eating Problem
It's called "Cannot get food from plate to mouth".
So now my blue shirt is spattered with dark red Chili Colorado sauce. I tried my best to wash it out, but there's definitely some remnants. And I did this during lunch, so I couldn't put on a clean shirt.
Why is it that your chances of spilling food on yourself increase in direct proportion to either how white your clothes are or by the number of people who will see the spilled food on your clothes prior to you being able to change?
So now my blue shirt is spattered with dark red Chili Colorado sauce. I tried my best to wash it out, but there's definitely some remnants. And I did this during lunch, so I couldn't put on a clean shirt.
Why is it that your chances of spilling food on yourself increase in direct proportion to either how white your clothes are or by the number of people who will see the spilled food on your clothes prior to you being able to change?
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Melissa Etheridge
I'm currently listening to Melissa Etheridge's first album, appropriately titled...
*drumroll*
"Melissa Etheridge"
And it makes me think back to the Grammy telecast a few years ago when she and Joss Stone performed a musical tribute to Janis Joplin. Melissa, recovering from breast cancer, wiped the floor with Joss and blew the roof off the dump with one of the greatest. Grammy. performances. ever.
Watch
*drumroll*
"Melissa Etheridge"
And it makes me think back to the Grammy telecast a few years ago when she and Joss Stone performed a musical tribute to Janis Joplin. Melissa, recovering from breast cancer, wiped the floor with Joss and blew the roof off the dump with one of the greatest. Grammy. performances. ever.
Watch
We'll Always Have Paris
Dear Nightly News,
Are we really going to have to endure 23 days of Paris Hilton jail coverage? Let me look into my crystal ball and predict your next few reports:
"Today, June 5th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".
"Today, June 6th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".
"Today, June 7th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".
"Today, June 8th..."
Why are people so fascinated with this girl? Think about it. Yes, she's about as smart as a brick and her day-to-day life appears to be as fulfilling as a bowl full of marshmallows. But other than partying a lot and posing for pictures, has she done anything incredibly newsworthy? Other than her DUI for which she is obediently serving her time for, she's not the slow-motion suicide attempt that Lindsey Lohan is. She isn't the white trash, hair-razing, breakdown diva that Britney Spears is. Despite the fact that she isn't exactly college degree material, people who have met her say she's very friendly and well-mannered. Aren't these social skills you want in a person?
Are we jealous because she has lots of money with none of the responsibilities? Think like the educated person you are. Is that really the life you'd want? Sure, it would be nice to have more than enough money and, at first, having zero responsibilities would be a nice break. Think of it as the ultimate vacation. But haven't you ever gone on a longer-than-normal vacation? Don't you start to go out of your mind wanting to accomplish something??
Are we really going to have to endure 23 days of Paris Hilton jail coverage? Let me look into my crystal ball and predict your next few reports:
"Today, June 5th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".
"Today, June 6th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".
"Today, June 7th, Paris stayed in her cell for 23 hours and went outside for her one hour break".
"Today, June 8th..."
Why are people so fascinated with this girl? Think about it. Yes, she's about as smart as a brick and her day-to-day life appears to be as fulfilling as a bowl full of marshmallows. But other than partying a lot and posing for pictures, has she done anything incredibly newsworthy? Other than her DUI for which she is obediently serving her time for, she's not the slow-motion suicide attempt that Lindsey Lohan is. She isn't the white trash, hair-razing, breakdown diva that Britney Spears is. Despite the fact that she isn't exactly college degree material, people who have met her say she's very friendly and well-mannered. Aren't these social skills you want in a person?
Are we jealous because she has lots of money with none of the responsibilities? Think like the educated person you are. Is that really the life you'd want? Sure, it would be nice to have more than enough money and, at first, having zero responsibilities would be a nice break. Think of it as the ultimate vacation. But haven't you ever gone on a longer-than-normal vacation? Don't you start to go out of your mind wanting to accomplish something??
Monday, June 04, 2007
L.A. Is Crawlin' With Celebs
Yesterday I went to Pinkberry1 to get some yogurt for my wife. Guess who's standing behind me? C'mon. Guess!
Ali Larter!2
Very cool.
1 Pinkberry is a chain of minimalist yogurt shops in L.A. They only serve two flavors: regular (looks like vanilla, but has a tart berry taste) and green tea. You can also select from a variety of toppings, including fresh fruit, chocolate chips, and some kiddie cereals (like Cap'n Crunch). Let Wikipedia guide you to enlightenment.
2 Ali who? She's Nikki/Jessica on Heroes. You know... the one who can care for her kid and break someone's spine in two all at the same time.
Ali Larter!2
Very cool.
1 Pinkberry is a chain of minimalist yogurt shops in L.A. They only serve two flavors: regular (looks like vanilla, but has a tart berry taste) and green tea. You can also select from a variety of toppings, including fresh fruit, chocolate chips, and some kiddie cereals (like Cap'n Crunch). Let Wikipedia guide you to enlightenment.
2 Ali who? She's Nikki/Jessica on Heroes. You know... the one who can care for her kid and break someone's spine in two all at the same time.
Diving In
Okay, I'm finally joining the chorus of bloggers who, at least once in their blogging lives, shout out: "I'm going to blog something every day!!".
There's so much interesting stuff happening in the world, as well as my home town, as well as my life, that my brain is overflowing with things to write out. Plus, I just love to write. Sometimes there's nothing more satisfying than a well-constructed post (even if I, myself, am not always capable of it).
So no more of this blog-once-a-month dry spell nonsense.
There. I've blogged something for today. See you tomorrow...
There's so much interesting stuff happening in the world, as well as my home town, as well as my life, that my brain is overflowing with things to write out. Plus, I just love to write. Sometimes there's nothing more satisfying than a well-constructed post (even if I, myself, am not always capable of it).
So no more of this blog-once-a-month dry spell nonsense.
There. I've blogged something for today. See you tomorrow...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Blowing Dust
I have to accept I will never be one of those people who blogs every day. But an almost two month gap? That's too much.
Don't you just love coming back from a vacation, only to have a three-day weekend the following weekend? Yeah!
Tonight is the Season Finale of LOST. No new episodes until February 2008. OUCH! That's way too long between hits of crack.
Heroes' finale was pretty good. Nice to see there wasn't really a cliffhanger to be tortured over for the next three to four months.
Tonight's the end of American Idol. Who's gonna win? My money (okay... funny money) is on Jordin. She's a perfect fit for the American Idol style of music. The winner's song (the one we (in other words, not me) voted on) is "a'ight, dawg". Still sounded as bland and sappy as the previous winner's songs. I'm glad Melinda got the boot -- she's been spared the sappy, over-commercialized first album from the winner. Now she can go and have a Daughtry-esque kick-ass career.
Went to Walt Disney World for nine days. If you go, stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Enjoy the Giraffes, Zebras, Ostriches, and myriad antelope from your hotel balcony. Amazing!
'Nuff for now.
Don't you just love coming back from a vacation, only to have a three-day weekend the following weekend? Yeah!
Tonight is the Season Finale of LOST. No new episodes until February 2008. OUCH! That's way too long between hits of crack.
Heroes' finale was pretty good. Nice to see there wasn't really a cliffhanger to be tortured over for the next three to four months.
Tonight's the end of American Idol. Who's gonna win? My money (okay... funny money) is on Jordin. She's a perfect fit for the American Idol style of music. The winner's song (the one we (in other words, not me) voted on) is "a'ight, dawg". Still sounded as bland and sappy as the previous winner's songs. I'm glad Melinda got the boot -- she's been spared the sappy, over-commercialized first album from the winner. Now she can go and have a Daughtry-esque kick-ass career.
Went to Walt Disney World for nine days. If you go, stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Enjoy the Giraffes, Zebras, Ostriches, and myriad antelope from your hotel balcony. Amazing!
'Nuff for now.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
So What's The Truth, Keef?
Now Keith Richards says he was joking about snorting pops with some coke.
The irony is had anyone else said they do that, we would have laughed it off as a joke. But when Keith says it, we all stop and go, "Hmm... maaaaybe...."
The irony is had anyone else said they do that, we would have laughed it off as a joke. But when Keith says it, we all stop and go, "Hmm... maaaaybe...."
Vague
Maybe because SO much news exists to report that properly editing every single headline is difficult, but Yahoo occasionally tosses out a headline that's totally open to misinterpretation.
Hence...
Man shot by pistol thrown in the trash
So, was the guy shot by a pistol that had been thrown in the trash or was the poor guy shot by an pistol, THEN thrown in the trash??
Hence...
Man shot by pistol thrown in the trash
So, was the guy shot by a pistol that had been thrown in the trash or was the poor guy shot by an pistol, THEN thrown in the trash??
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
How Do YOU Say "EEEEEEEWWWW"?
Keith Richards: "I snorted my father"
The article's posting date is today, not April 1st.
This truly proves that Keef is one of the living dead.
The article's posting date is today, not April 1st.
This truly proves that Keef is one of the living dead.
Friday, March 23, 2007
I Think I'll Stick With The Tree-Based Stuff
Elephant Poo Poo Paper
At least now, when someone says your writing stinks, you have a cop-out excuse!
At least now, when someone says your writing stinks, you have a cop-out excuse!
Friday, March 16, 2007
I Love People. They're Funny.
From today's Rolling Stone newsletter:
CHURCH LEADERS LOSE SLEEP OVER ELTON JOHN'S JAZZ HANDS
ELTON JOHN's upcoming headlining appearance at the Plymouth Jazz Festival in the Caribbean nation of Tobago is facing protests from church leaders who worry John will influence the country's sexual orientation.
Isn't there some remote continent with padded walls, lots of quiet, and nurses who bring the red and blue pills every six hours, that we can move these people to?
CHURCH LEADERS LOSE SLEEP OVER ELTON JOHN'S JAZZ HANDS
ELTON JOHN's upcoming headlining appearance at the Plymouth Jazz Festival in the Caribbean nation of Tobago is facing protests from church leaders who worry John will influence the country's sexual orientation.
Isn't there some remote continent with padded walls, lots of quiet, and nurses who bring the red and blue pills every six hours, that we can move these people to?
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Chiquita Bin Laden?
When you were a kid, did you ever use a banana as a pretend gun?
Apparently you knew more about bananas than you were letting on.
Chiquita charged in terror investigation
Apparently you knew more about bananas than you were letting on.
Chiquita charged in terror investigation
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Posting SOMETHING, At Least...
Wow! I haven't posted a blog entry in over a month. What an empty, boring, little life I lead. Okay, that's not true. It's just been really busy.
So.. 'sup?
Rob & Amber (or Romber as the entertainment media calls 'em. Or Rob and Ambah, as Rob calls them) just got eliminated from the Amazing Race. Hahahahaha. Yay! Karma's a beyotch, boy!
See what happens when I don't post? Britney Spears shaves off all her hair and embarks on a yo-yo-like excursion through L.A.'s finest rehab centers.
I've been filling up the iPod with some good stuff (yes. yes. In my opinion). Gruff Rhys' "Candylion", !!!'s "Myth Takes", Of Montreal's "Hissing Fauna...", Lily Allen's "Alright, Still", Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible", Apples In Stereo's "New Magnetic Wonder", and Norah Jones' "Feel Like Home". Good stuff.
Speaking of filling up the iPod, did you know Costco rocks? They sell $50 iPod gift cards for $44.
Got a new 37' Sharp Aquos LCD flatscreen TV this past week. To quote Borat: "Niiiiiice". Finally figured out how to run our cable box through the AV to get surround sound from TV shows. Again, all togehter class: "Niiiiiice".
The application I work on survived the premature Daylight Savings Time shift. I still think DST is useless and stupid and extending it is just another sign that our current government has virtually shaved off all of its hair and is hopping from rehab center to rehab center.
There. That should make up for a month's lack of posts. I feel better now. Don't you?
So.. 'sup?
Rob & Amber (or Romber as the entertainment media calls 'em. Or Rob and Ambah, as Rob calls them) just got eliminated from the Amazing Race. Hahahahaha. Yay! Karma's a beyotch, boy!
See what happens when I don't post? Britney Spears shaves off all her hair and embarks on a yo-yo-like excursion through L.A.'s finest rehab centers.
I've been filling up the iPod with some good stuff (yes. yes. In my opinion). Gruff Rhys' "Candylion", !!!'s "Myth Takes", Of Montreal's "Hissing Fauna...", Lily Allen's "Alright, Still", Arcade Fire's "Neon Bible", Apples In Stereo's "New Magnetic Wonder", and Norah Jones' "Feel Like Home". Good stuff.
Speaking of filling up the iPod, did you know Costco rocks? They sell $50 iPod gift cards for $44.
Got a new 37' Sharp Aquos LCD flatscreen TV this past week. To quote Borat: "Niiiiiice". Finally figured out how to run our cable box through the AV to get surround sound from TV shows. Again, all togehter class: "Niiiiiice".
The application I work on survived the premature Daylight Savings Time shift. I still think DST is useless and stupid and extending it is just another sign that our current government has virtually shaved off all of its hair and is hopping from rehab center to rehab center.
There. That should make up for a month's lack of posts. I feel better now. Don't you?
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Al Qaeda Animators!
Cartoon Network ad campaign triggers Boston security scare
Who knew Lite-Brites could be turned into weapons of mass destruction.
Who knew Lite-Brites could be turned into weapons of mass destruction.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
My Country Is Nutz
Passport Now Required to Canada, Mexico
Apparently, we gotta keep them crazy Canadian and Mexican terrorists out of the U.S. They're always coming over and blowing up stuff.
I can't wait 'til we drop a big, plexiglass dome over the entire country like how you use one of those food tents to keep ants away from your food while you're at a picnic.
After 2008, when the madness ends, I think the U.S. deserves a big, long vacation...
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Next Time, On A Very Special Celebrity "Intervention"
So I'm sitting here watching E! Television (not my choice... but I'm too lazy to grab for the remote) and it's reporting on nothing but Lindsey, Britney, and Paris.
Show of hands: who's tired beyond tired of those three names? I can understand why the entertainment shows focus on them. TV loves to document celebrities imploding under the weight of their problems. TV has no sympathy or concern for them. It gets off watching the day-to-day decline: drunk here, rehab there, firecrotch here, no panties there.
But enough's enough. It's just plain boring. I'm glad Lindsey's checked into rehab. If you strip away the celebrity, she's a girl from a very broken home (c'mon - Dad's been to jail). She's has been thrust into the celebrity machine with a lot of money, no privacy, and no therapy. Of course she's gonna snap. Of course she's going to drown her pain by partying like a maniac. I wish her the best and hope she comes out healthy and happy.
I know entertainment news shows are not expected to report on world events like Iraq and who might be running for President in 2008 (which can't come soon enough), but there's a LOT more going on in Hollywood than Lindsey, Britney, and Paris. For once I'm actually thankful the awards shows are coming up (the Globes just finished, the Oscars coming up) -- it distracts the TV machine from it's current prey.
Show of hands: who's tired beyond tired of those three names? I can understand why the entertainment shows focus on them. TV loves to document celebrities imploding under the weight of their problems. TV has no sympathy or concern for them. It gets off watching the day-to-day decline: drunk here, rehab there, firecrotch here, no panties there.
But enough's enough. It's just plain boring. I'm glad Lindsey's checked into rehab. If you strip away the celebrity, she's a girl from a very broken home (c'mon - Dad's been to jail). She's has been thrust into the celebrity machine with a lot of money, no privacy, and no therapy. Of course she's gonna snap. Of course she's going to drown her pain by partying like a maniac. I wish her the best and hope she comes out healthy and happy.
I know entertainment news shows are not expected to report on world events like Iraq and who might be running for President in 2008 (which can't come soon enough), but there's a LOT more going on in Hollywood than Lindsey, Britney, and Paris. For once I'm actually thankful the awards shows are coming up (the Globes just finished, the Oscars coming up) -- it distracts the TV machine from it's current prey.
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